Grief as a journey
10 years ago, we took our last photo as a family of six, before releasing you to find your angel wings, your new form, a new way of us being with you, with the knowing that the bond that we created in the short time that we had, was enough to keep us bonded as a family forever.
Over the following days, weeks, months and years... to this day, we would wish you were still here as we found our footing communicating with you in a new way.
Missing your care and minding as we faced the further losses that were to come, as well as during big milestones and celebrations, but mostly in mundane moments that you made special, the phone calls when you calmed us, and made everything okay, or for me, the gentle longing that you could go for a round of golf and a pint with Dave.
We are still reminded of Dad in so many ways, through the minis that have joined the family, that talk about their 'papa mick' with big smiles, and through all of the people who so kindly share stories of him as their doctor or friend, which always bring smiles to our faces.
Grief is love with no where to go. Grief is an endless journey, that sometimes can be exhausting, isolating, confusing, all consuming, and filled with doubt to name a few. Grief can feel like it just takes from us, creates a void, loss. It changes us. But over time, grief has also given me the gifts of perspective, growth, resilience, compassion, freedom, and also gratitude for what was.
Grief is personal and different for everyone. And unfortunately despite it being one of life's inevitables, we aren't given a hand book on how to prepare for it or navigate it. But 10 years on, I can say that with time, life does become colorful again; The hard days become softer, and the space between the good days gets shorter and shorter until you eventually find yourself again. So if you or someone you know is feeling grief, don't lose hope, give yourself time, tread softly on the hard days, try to embrace the good days without guilt, and know that you will find yourself, and you will find somewhere to place that love again. X